So... Does Your Penis Work? Dating With a Disability and the Fetishism of Curiosity

 

First Things First. Today is Tuesday, November 3, 2020. It is the first Tuesday in November and that means it is Election Day in the United States of America.  I wouldn't be a Good American History Teacher if I didn't tell you to take this time to exercise your right to vote. 

With that out of the way we can get to the question that I posed in the Header of this post; Let's get it out there yes it does work (Sorry, Mom). That is not what I am here to talk about directly, however, I do want to talk about Sex. SEX is not a bad word and everyone should be able to experience it if they want to. 

There are pages among pages of toys and aids in the act for the disabled which is great because sometimes it just doesn't happen without assistance much like walking. If people would understand that it wouldn't be as weird but then again some people think wheelchairs are weird so I guess we just can't always win. 

There are some people in the disability community that say the fetishism of curiosity has either flat out gotten them laid or at least assisted in the endeavor. This is mostly carried out by and reserved for the sexually deviant. If it is not the ones who are curious it is the people who feel like they want to dominate those who can't fend for themselves in some way or are the disabled population that is sexually hungry that looks at being dominated like a good thing because it is still sex. I am not condemning sexual domination because it is a fetish and people are kinky that is understandable the problem begins if the domination is taken outside the domain of the bedroom. It is for the people that think that they can take their skills in domination and degradation and treat people like that in everyday interaction. If someone doesn't have respect for another person outside of the bedroom that is where the transaction should stop because you as the disabled person are now in the person's eye subhuman. You have already given up all of your power in sexual situations why give it up the rest of your unalienable rights afforded you at birth. 

Dating is an interesting concept all on its own. Dating is one of the greatest (and most infuriating) parts of the human experience but once you find that one pot for your lid; you'll never want to be single again. It is difficult for disabled people to make those connections. In the spirit of full disclosure, it is difficult for anyone to make that meaningful connection in the first place. Yet this difficulty is exacerbated by the presence of a disability.

There is a theory in disability sex and relationship research that talks about the caregiver theory and that are when a disabled party is dating an able-bodied party and people from the outside automatically assume that the able-bodied person is the disabled person's caregiver. This happens far too often and it seems as though there is preconceived thought that Able-bodied people can't be satisfied by disabled people. There’s also fear by the able-bodied party that if this is long-term and the disabled person’s condition worsens they will become a caregiver anyways. However, in traditional wedding vows it says in sickness and health and you wouldn’t leave your able-bodied partner if they have cancer or have Alzheimer’s same floating concept here. That will be fleshed out in a post at some point on this blog. 

I know that this was a heavy topic but I hope you learned something. This is one of my favorite topics to discuss because it is often neglected so drop it in the comments or Facebook message me.