Parenting and Disability: Creating and Maintaining the Institution of Family

 Good Morning, Today is Monday, November 9, 2020. 

Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys of the human experience but disabled people in this country have an extra layer of anxiety. I am a young person who is disabled and has a fiancee with a visual impairment who is looking and preparing to start a family this issue is of extreme pertinence to me and my future family. Let's begin with this, no matter what it seems as though there will always social worker from the state that is getting involved to see if we as disabled people can be parents. 

The reason why it is important to understand that these statistics and stories as disabled people and in the able-bodied community is because we have the capacity to love and care for children and it is a common misconception about if you can't hear the baby cry at night how are you going to care for the kid. Or how are you going to chase down a kid who runs into the street in your wheelchair? Fun Fact I have wheels I am faster than a three-year-old. 

Again, as been the theme on this blog misconception has been born out of fear and misunderstanding. These words ring even more true when it comes to misconceptions in parenting. I first want to address a couple of things moving forward. Far too often children are taken away from their disabled parents in baseless claims of inaccessibility and force-fed systemic ableism. thirty-five percent of kids that is not a small percentage the number is even more staggering than that when both parental units are disabled. It is even worse when neither parent can drive. 

We will go by each of these claims piece by piece. The first being that if you can't hear a child cry how will know what to do. It begins again with technology, there are hearing assistance baby monitors that will flash like fire alarms do in buildings. If you can't see a lot of raising children is done in the dark and by sound and touch you don't have to be able to see to change a diaper most parents change diapers in the dark, to begin with. The other claim about not being able to drive this is easily solvable by having a solid support system around that can get you around town. If you have to do it yourself Lyft and Uber do exist and will be used if necessary. 

Why would it be fair if we as disabled people have broken down all these barriers yet, we aren't able to participate in one of the influential intustion in society. If you are disabled and wanting to start a family there are a number of different channels you can explore. Most importantly be your best advocate, and then have people that are going to be in your corner create a plan and execute it, come armed with as much information and support as you can and that is how we will be able to raise OUR kids. 

One last thought before we go, if you have a kid with a gentic disability wouldn't you want that kid to have parents that went through that and can teach them to be their own advocate and advocate on their behalf. It already creates a repour and authenticity you cannot manufactor. Our best rolemodels are ourselves. I could write for days on this with stories upon stories and this will be reexamined but for now let's leave this here. 

As Always, Stay Safe and God Bless